On the Road.

(Ed's note: written Friday night, but not posted until Saturday afternoon.)

Kinda like Roger Clemens, but without the blistering fastball, I have been called out of semi-retirement to bring you this special “Live” blog of the Caravan 4 Christmas journey from DC, or “Winterland” as my South American friends call it, to The South.

Santa's Little Helpers Laura and Stephanie are having a jolly good time driving the toys to Louisiana. As of 10 pm Friday night, the 16’ Penske® is being piloted by intrepid driver Stephanie and guided by navigator Laura who, upon deciding that driving a 100 ton truck while drowsy was not a good idea, relinquished the driving duties after the last fuel stop. The pair are somewhere in North Carolina, a.k.a. “The State That Never Ends” (yeah, try driving through Texas on I-10 – Ed.), about 40 miles from South Carolina.

Driving apparently gives the mind time to think about other things. Things such as The Official something-or-other of Caravan 4 Christmas. For example:

Official Truck of Caravan 4 Christmas: Penske®. [Rainman] “Uhaul sucks.” [/Rainman].

Official Drink of Caravan 4 Christmas (upon arrival, and after the driving is done): Egg Nog Daiquiri.

Official Travel Drink of Caravan 4 Christmas: Red Bull.

Official Travel Snack of Caravan 4 Christmas: Cheetos.

Official Song of Caravan 4 Christmas: Funky Town, by Lipps, Inc.

Official Food of Caravan 4 Christmas: Wendy’s, at least until they got tired of eating it.

Other fun facts about the trip: It costs $70 to fill the gas tank. And, the truck has a sticker that says “Truck not equipped to exceed 75 mph.” I wonder if that means that they got one of the trucks without a flux capacitor?

And in case anybody was worried, Laura’s Mom has assured both Laura and Stephanie that yes, they will have the opportunity to hug a kid before traveling back to Winterland.

idlegrasshopper